________________________________________________::Welcome:: Welcome to a verbal and visual representation of the incredible actor, musician, and artist that is Johnny Depp. Formerly known as "Got Depp" the site has now been renamed "Deppictions" in honor of the numerous characterizations he has acquainted us with for over two decades. The majority of the site content remains the same for those of you who are regular visitors. Feel free to look around, and I do hope to hear from some of you regarding the new site design. Enjoy and thank you for taking the time to visit Deppictions. ____________________________________________________________________::Blog:: |
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July 24 , 2008
How many times can I say Johnny in one day? Apparently seven THOUSAND.
I go through these occasionally zealous Johnny crazes. Sometimes I watch Johnny
movies in a chronological rotation. Sometimes I go alphabetically. Or when I'm feeling
reeeeeally freaky deaky, I'll pick films out from his vast cinematic repertoire randomly.
I'm livin' on the edge, oh yeah.
But then there are these horrible and crankily hormone induced days where "gasp!"...I
don't want to watch a Johnny movie. Not one, not two, not ANY Johnny movies. On
these days I get this tremendous guilt complex which may be due to the fact that I come
from a very large Italian family where self-floggulation is standard practice. Or it could be
the fact that I was raised Catholic by those same self-floggulating bastardos. I mean look
at me (and even though you really can't, let's just pretend for the sake of the crazy
webmistress that you can), I've loved the guy for over 20 years and he has followed me and
haunted me for these past two decades to the point where he's in my head and not
leaving never, ever, NEVER! So if I'm not giving my man JD props for bringin' it
to the bitches at Disney or wearing out the rewind button on my remote during a
smoking hot 'being himself' moment in a TV interview or film commentary, then I
don't feel like I'm doing my job as an obsessive compulsive Depp junkie, ya
know?
Therefore, when I can't sit down with a tub of popcorn in one hand and my favorite JD
doll in the other to cuddle with while spending the next two hours watching the gorgeous
fucker do his thang on screen, I find other alternatives in order to incorporate him into my
day. Because not talking or thinking about Johnny makes me all sad in the face. And my
sad face is very ... well, sad.
You may be asking yourself, "Self, how does she do this?" Or you may be asking yourself
"Why the hell am I even reading this drivel?" But no one put a gun to your head so you may
as well finish now, because if you're already halfway through this, you have no more of a
life than I do.
So, throughout my day, I will just randomly throw his name all willy nilly into various
conversations even if it makes absolutely no freakin' sense whatsoever. But honestly,
where's the fun in making sense anyway? Pshaw.
For example:
My 4 year old son says, "Mommy, can my friend Christopher come over?"
I say, "Hahaha, funny story. Did you know Johnny's middle name is Christopher?"
My son is now appalled and confused, "That's not a funny story."
Me: "Shutup. Go play."
Bank teller: Please endorse your check for deposit. Do you need a pen?
I say: Interesting fact about pens. Johnny used to sell them. Yep.
Bank teller: I'm sorry? Johnny who?
I say: Johnny. (obnoxious snorting laugh) You know. Johnny!
Bank teller: Security.
My best friend: You wanna split these French Fries with me?
Me: Hey did you know that French Fries come from France?
My BFF: No they don't.
Me: Johnny lives in France.
My BFF: I know. You tell me things about him all the time. But the French fries ... do you
wanna split them or not?
Me: He has a villa there with his ladylove and their kids. I love him. Johnny.
My BFF: (eye roll)
Me: Johnny!
My grandmother says, "That damn idiot next door keeps parking in my driveway."
I say, "Grandma, you don't drive or have a car. Who cares. By the way, did you
know that Johnny's last name means idiot? Hehe, yeah. Your neighbor's a real
Depp."
Grandma: I thought I was the one with dementia.
Now how fun is that, right? I mean it's as easy as getting Katherine Heigl to do a
crappy film. Seriously, try it! You will not be disappointed. Have a great day!
JOHNNY! :D
How many times can I say Johnny in one day? Apparently seven THOUSAND.
I go through these occasionally zealous Johnny crazes. Sometimes I watch Johnny
movies in a chronological rotation. Sometimes I go alphabetically. Or when I'm feeling
reeeeeally freaky deaky, I'll pick films out from his vast cinematic repertoire randomly.
I'm livin' on the edge, oh yeah.
But then there are these horrible and crankily hormone induced days where "gasp!"...I
don't want to watch a Johnny movie. Not one, not two, not ANY Johnny movies. On
these days I get this tremendous guilt complex which may be due to the fact that I come
from a very large Italian family where self-floggulation is standard practice. Or it could be
the fact that I was raised Catholic by those same self-floggulating bastardos. I mean look
at me (and even though you really can't, let's just pretend for the sake of the crazy
webmistress that you can), I've loved the guy for over 20 years and he has followed me and
haunted me for these past two decades to the point where he's in my head and not
leaving never, ever, NEVER! So if I'm not giving my man JD props for bringin' it
to the bitches at Disney or wearing out the rewind button on my remote during a
smoking hot 'being himself' moment in a TV interview or film commentary, then I
don't feel like I'm doing my job as an obsessive compulsive Depp junkie, ya
know?
Therefore, when I can't sit down with a tub of popcorn in one hand and my favorite JD
doll in the other to cuddle with while spending the next two hours watching the gorgeous
fucker do his thang on screen, I find other alternatives in order to incorporate him into my
day. Because not talking or thinking about Johnny makes me all sad in the face. And my
sad face is very ... well, sad.
You may be asking yourself, "Self, how does she do this?" Or you may be asking yourself
"Why the hell am I even reading this drivel?" But no one put a gun to your head so you may
as well finish now, because if you're already halfway through this, you have no more of a
life than I do.
So, throughout my day, I will just randomly throw his name all willy nilly into various
conversations even if it makes absolutely no freakin' sense whatsoever. But honestly,
where's the fun in making sense anyway? Pshaw.
For example:
My 4 year old son says, "Mommy, can my friend Christopher come over?"
I say, "Hahaha, funny story. Did you know Johnny's middle name is Christopher?"
My son is now appalled and confused, "That's not a funny story."
Me: "Shutup. Go play."
Bank teller: Please endorse your check for deposit. Do you need a pen?
I say: Interesting fact about pens. Johnny used to sell them. Yep.
Bank teller: I'm sorry? Johnny who?
I say: Johnny. (obnoxious snorting laugh) You know. Johnny!
Bank teller: Security.
My best friend: You wanna split these French Fries with me?
Me: Hey did you know that French Fries come from France?
My BFF: No they don't.
Me: Johnny lives in France.
My BFF: I know. You tell me things about him all the time. But the French fries ... do you
wanna split them or not?
Me: He has a villa there with his ladylove and their kids. I love him. Johnny.
My BFF: (eye roll)
Me: Johnny!
My grandmother says, "That damn idiot next door keeps parking in my driveway."
I say, "Grandma, you don't drive or have a car. Who cares. By the way, did you
know that Johnny's last name means idiot? Hehe, yeah. Your neighbor's a real
Depp."
Grandma: I thought I was the one with dementia.
Now how fun is that, right? I mean it's as easy as getting Katherine Heigl to do a
crappy film. Seriously, try it! You will not be disappointed. Have a great day!
JOHNNY! :D
